~Dear Ayah

I met this couple years ago, and i called them Ayah-Bunda

Dear Ayah, i have received your email, it made me cry a lot. Ayah, when i chose to be 'anak pondok' i haven't imagine how it could be. Sit and learn Quran Hadits is all i know. I know nothing about pondok and too careless to find out (yeah, it is me, you know me well). Now i know, it is not just sit and learn and i enjoy all parts of it. there is kelas bacaan, makna Hadits, makna Quran and materi kelas (depending on the class that you follow, in this case i'm still in kelas lambatan). i sleep at 10 and wake up at 2 everyday.

There is ujian kenaikan kelas soon, i have to finished my 'hafalan' first before they let me taking the exam. and you know Ayah, i'm doing it seriously more than i did when i'm in the university.
The day before mas Widhi picks me up from pondok, pak Huda my teacher who 'nyemak' my 'bacaan Quran' gave me a praise "Mia, you are getting better. Sering nderes ya" and it makes my day until i got home, turned on my phone and got your email. i'm scared Ayah, too scared that your anger destroy what i love the most. Ayah-Bunda and adik-adik. I'm scared...

I asked mas Widhi, should i help Ayah mas?

He said that I should help you. But i know Ayah, when i leave pondok to help you this time, it will take days to get back to pondok and i will loose my chance to finish all the requirements to take the exam and it takes time to catch it up next time. if there's a word that represent my regret, i will use it right now

I want to get better, i want to be someone who learn and teach what inside Quran and Hadits is. I want to be a fighter and let me be doing this Ayah, i want to make you proud. After years, now i know what lam syamsiah and lam qomariyah is, who is dzilqornain, ya'juj ma'juj, why maryam is being chosen, who stayed with Nuh at his boat, how yusuf ran away from zulaikho and the fact that i did sholat tasbih and sholat khifdzi for my first time at pondok. and like other daughter, i want you to say it to me, with your calming smile. You are doing good dear daughter, you are doing good mia.

this is my decision Ayah. it's all mine, i want to tell you all of it, what i do, what i get and what i want to be when i finish all of the program here at pondok. i swear.

And i hope this letter will reach you someday, somehow.

P.S
there is a time when i remember thinks from our past. When we laugh with mas Iwin, mba Ami, mba Indah, Risya, Rhema. Or when i cry whe i told you both about my stupidity and my love story or when i asked for your permission to be you daughter after my mom passed away.

I do miss you Ayah-Bunda. so much...

Hujan

sumber gambar

Masih trauma dengan hujan dan jalanan yang tak bersahabat akhirnya sering bepergian dengan kendaraan umum. Hujan, naik bis dan payung. Semasa masih berseragam dulu, betapa susahnya Ibu mengingatkan agar membawa payung saat musim hujan tiba dan aku selalu lupa. Terkadang sengaja tak membawa. Lebih asyik membayangkan bermain air bersama teman-teman sepulang sekolah. Bandingkan dengan sekarang, hujan dan payung bagiku yang dewasa terasa menentramkan. Entah, walaupun begitu ada sepercik sedih yang menyelip. Entah....

And what do you know of the comfort of home?

B : because you've seen nothing of the world, baby! What do you know of the high of living in different   countries?
N : And what do you know of the comfort of home?
B : You don't know what it's like to sit with a strange family......and listen to their life stories.
N : And you don't know what it's like to sit with old friends......and reminisce.
B : Someday I'll take you to San Francisco......to eat their famous mutton burgers You'll go crazy.
N : Someday I'll feed you mutton biryani from home. You'll forget your burger.
B : You haven't been to Paris, Naina.
N : Have you ever seen a child being born?
B : No......but I have lots of children running around in Paris. Johannesburg. World Cup. Andres Iniesta's winning goal.
N : Wankhede Stadium. Mahendra Singh Dhoni's winning sixer!
B : California's sunshine.
N : Bombay's rains.
B : Blueberry cheesecake.
N : Indian custard.
B : Phantom of the Opera on Broadway.
N : Dilwaale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge in a single screen theatre. With popcorn.
B : Actually... ya man. One day you'll be the fat mother of two children. And I'll still be hot and fit.
N : Not two... six! And when I'm sitting withthem watching Harry Potter part......20 in my mansion, you'll be stitching your own shoes in some African village.

B : You're not wrong, Naina...you're just very different from me.
N : I know that.

(Yeh Jaawani Hai Deewani, an Indian Movie)

Menonton film ini, mmmmm... bagaimana menggambarkannya. Banyak dialog-dialog yang sederhana tapi mengena. And what do you know of the comfort of home ? 

Aku bukannya membela diri, karena aku tinggal di rumah *tidak bekerja

Entahlah, aku suka dialognya. Ada beberapa scene lain dengan dialog sederhana seperti ini yang ku suka. tapi aku lupa di bagian mana, yang jelas tokoh Naina di film ini, superb. She's an independent one. She know what she need and she is brave to take a decision that may change her whole life. I love her

doughnut!

sweet potato doughnut

300 gr ubi ungu, kukus dan haluskan

100 gr tepung protein tinggi

400 gr tepung protein rendah

150 gr mentega

50 gr gula pasir

7 gr bread improver

10 gr ragi

2 butir kuning telur

200 ml air bersih

35 gr susu bubuk

toping :sukasuka!>.<

i loooveee doughnut. that's way i learned how to make it, dan berhasil saudara-saudara. yah, walaupun bentuknya masih agak berantakan, tapi rasanya enaaak. massita, oishi!!!

ingin mencoba?

~~

do i like you? | probably not | what if i do anyway? | that's too much like the movies | this kind of thing happens in real life too

~

source

one day you will ask me which is more important ?
my life or yours?
i will say mine and you walk away
not knowing that you are my life
[kahlil gibran]

SKY

there are different people
there are different feelings

there might be someone that you want to watch a beautiful glow in the morning sky with

~the skies are connected with each other